chase riddle

wanting what you cannot have
having what you do not want
choices are unattractive
Theirs something about the chase

absence makes the heart grow fonder
being knocked back is the challenge
driving for the ultimate goal
the one you do not  want

affection is a turn off
a reached goal is no fun

left behind is the moon whilst reaching for the sun
but when the moon has had enough the moon becomes the sun

and if you manage to get the sun and hold it in your arms
the sun really just reflects the moon so you dont give it a chance

alone is what is wanted , needed in a view
but in the depts of the deep mind
the suns still what you strive to find.

Dreamer please come back to us
Its nice where you are i know
Dreamland has always been safer
then this place i have to go

Dreamer i know your tired
your heart is damaged from pain
Dreamland will always be with you
when you sleep at night

lol

im so depressive , oh well pmsl !

Relationships Things I have learned !

Here are some basic rules that I have come up with if you want to keep somebody interested , I know because I have managed to mess up sooo many times.


The Chase
.1 Don’t act too keen
.2 Don’t let them think that you are always available (people always want what they cant have)
.3 Don’t Send to many texts , emails which is hard when you really like someone i know but try to just reply to the messages they send you
.4 Don’t forget your friends they will be their before and after your relationship.
.5 Don’t change yourself for them an act is hard to keep up so it’s better to be yourself
.6 Do show an interest in their hobbies (this shows you have stuff in common)
.7 Don’t let the chase go on too long because after a while they will see you as a friend rather then a potential partner (no going back when it reaches this stage.) the best thing to do is without being pushy and expressing how much you like them find out where you stand.
.8 You cant change someone so don’t try

The Relationship
If you get through all this and end up in a relationship:

.1 Don’t Crowd your partner
.2 Do Trust them (this is usually the end for most relationships they are all based on trust innocent till proven guilty).
.3 Don’t Forget your friends ( I am actually guilty of this I made no time for my friends in one of my relationships and when it ended I had no shoulder to cry on)
.4 Your partner should add to your life not be your life we are born alone and die alone so remember you need to be your own person as no one wants to go out with a clone of themselves.
.5 Be independent if your partner wanted a child they would have one in a relationship you need to be equal no farther mother figures .
.6 Don’t put yourself down in front of someone their is only so many times someone can say your pretty /Handsome before they get bored.
The Break up
If it comes to an end

.1 Move on - the pain will last as long as you let it
.2 Be strong -don’t let them see that it has effected you as much as it has the last thing you want is their pity
.3 Don’t go straight into another relationship before your fully over the last one its not fair on anyone.
.4 Always remember that their is someone out their for you , you just haven’t found them yet .


Life is not a fairy tale and I think that sometimes things need to be said as they are especially when it comes to affairs of the heart.

"its nice to dream when your asleep but when your awake avoid the heart ache xxx"

Thanks

Thanks for the memory's
you were a blast
Thanks for the chemistry
That never did last

Thanks for the laughs
you brightened my soul
Thanks for talking  when i lost control

Thanks for the fun
and all of the games
for calling me Hun
instead of my name

Thanks for the hugs
i sometimes received
for squeezing me tight till i couldn't breath

thanks for the support
thanks for the time
now were never court 
your never be mine

The Close

The end of a chapter the close of a book
No going back no final look

under the carpet covered in dust
hidden forever my angry lust

In the beginning back at the start
I never though this would brake my heart

How can you miss what never began
its impossible but somehow I can

confused to the point that ive lost my mind
I need to run leave this all behind

For you love another very different from me
No matter how I change I will never be ...

I don’t even want what most people do
I just long to be close to you

I don’t want to act like couples or lovers
spending the days/ hours under bed covers

Its deeper then that (for me anyway)
so forever and ever in my heart your stay

I shall leave you alone by your self not with me
Just friends being friends no intimacy

I’m happy with that, that’s how it is
my life’s now real and less of a quiz. 

DEEP UNDERGROUND POETRY

http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/

Above is a link for deep underground poetry website this is such a great site for poetry !

fingers crossed

I hope that all drunk people get memory loss from the previous evening that would help me out alot

I like it

I like the thrill of being scared
it makes me feel alive

ill do anythink im dared
this  is how i  strive

back again

Just when i start to forget
I hear from you again

Just like a love sick pet
you take over my brain

i spend my evenings hoping ,
wishing all in vain ,
that one day in the future you will call my name,

Ive felt this pain for a long time
my heart knows only this

I feel like I'm committing a crime
longing for just one kiss

should i drowned all of my sorrows
or bow my head in shame
sometimes i am angry at you
but your not the one to blame

I wish i could find another you
someone to fill this gap
I'm not sure of anyone who
would put up with all my crap

my friends think that I'm crazy
when they hear me rant away
your minds a little hazy
your thoughts they seem to stray

fighting a losing  battle
that was never mine to win
I need to put up my  defences
and never let you in

i should want to get better
and never feel this way
but Ive  felt like this for so long now
I'm scared id miss the pain.

mums birthday yesterday !

So i had monday off yay !

it was my mums birthday so we we went to see a film called one day i really related to this film in so many ways

Ive noticed that i use to be a hipercondriact and i was really afraid of dying all the time not i just dont care i wonder whats going on with that ?

is it a good thing ?

fuck knows !

I dont keep a mirror on my wall
I dont keep a photo on my shelf
Even though i walk on tall
I do not really like myself

Its photographs i really hate
One fatal click and its too late
brodcasted to a hundred friends
the embarresment just never ends

no matter what my parents say
these faults will never go away

when i get ready of a night
my friends will say you look alright
when really i can plainly see
there just being nice to me

be happy just the way you are
thats easyer siad then done

im happy till i see  photographs
they stop me having fun !

feeling low

It seems like everythings happening for everyone else im really worried that i am being left behind :(

toys of the 90s !

nirvana poem

I want to say sorry All Apologies 

I never set out to be a heartbreaker

Its wasnt because of your old age

I know that your still full of beans

I never ment to put you on a downer 

or compleatly drain you 

mabye im just dumb 

i know and you know your right 

If You Must know their wasnt the love buzz

so now please dont milk it and be a negitive creep

oh the guilt i already feel

I hate myself and want to die 

so now im going to stay away 

you shall never see my heart shaped box 

or get the chance to legally rape  me 

why not date that girl

Here she comes now 

Turnround 

her name is polly 

you could take her for some mexican seafood and have a cup of pennyroyal tea

then you can write songs about a girl whilst kissing mollys lips .

outburst

:s Had a little outburst at work today , i just snapped and started crying after a comment from one of my collages it wasn't even his fault whoops

Happy Friday

Dressed up and ready to go
will you be their ?
I dont know

glancing over at the door
whilst playing with my phone

will you be dancing on the floor
or will you stay at home

Effort made just for you
on the off chance that  your turn up

THE WAITING GAME

FOUR  LONG YEARS YOU'VE BEEN IN PAIN

WAITING HOPING ALL IN VAIN

LIKE A COBRA WAITING TO STRIKE

WAITING FOR THE ONE YOU LIKE

THE HURT YOU FEEL IS TURNING TO HATE

WILL THIS BE YOUR ONLY FATE

HERE YOU ARE GOING OUT OF YOUR WAY

HOPING THAT YOUR LOVE WILL STAY

OFF WITH EVERY BOY IN TOWN

THIS GIRL HAS JUST LET YOU DOWN

YOU COMFORTED THEM WHEN THEY WAS DOWN

WALKED ALL THE WAY TO A FAR AWAY TOWN

YOU WERE THE SUPPORT THE CRYING SHOULDER

BUT NOW YOU ARE A LITTLE OLDER

WISER TO THIS FRIENDSHIP GAME

YOU WANT MORE ITS NOT THE SAME

SO YOU HAD TO CHANGE YOUR WAY OF LIVING

TURN AWAY AND STOP THE GIVING

IT WASN'T BECAUSE YOU WERE BEING CRUEL

YOU HAD TO RUN YOUR ONLY RULE

GIVING WAS YOUR ONLY CRIME

DON'T YOU WORRY YOUR BE FINE.

poem

You Made me laugh

you made me cry

you made me want to bitch and sigh

Im happy when i see your face

but then you go without a trace

you blank me when i walk on bye

this really hurts, not gonna lie

you need space

i will agree

i know you not the one for me

this funky dress

this pierced face

its never gonna be your taste

ive made myself mad over you

the one who doesnt care

but sometimes when i dance at night im sure i see you stare

a fantasy thats in my mind

now ive left that all behind

a brand new girl

thats who i am

knock me back

i dont give  a dam

friendship  is now all i want

not love or lust or hate

i just want to hang around

that doesnt mean a date

so if you are at a lose end

finding that you need a friend

you have my number

drop me a line

i will always have the time.

Todays Rambelings

So I'm feeling a little better then i did yesterday i broke my alcohol fast by having 3 quarters of a bottle of red wine last night (i don't even like red wine ros'es as far as i go )I'm starting to think that sober Friday is probably not gonna be a good idea due to the fact none of my friends are even going out on Friday which means I'm gonna have to be confident and make conversation with people i don't really know alcohol will be needed for that !.

Had my First snog with new lip per icing yesterday i really wanted to know what it was like to kiss with it like if it would get in the way etc and he wanted to know what it was like to kiss someone with a piercing so i thought why not lol, Result bit weird at first but OK :) so piercing is gonna stay for a while :)


Have been thinking about what I'm gonna do over Christmas i know that i am going to be bored sitting their at home so i am thinking about volunteering at a homeless shelter at least i will feel like i am giving something back that's one of the things i miss about working for a charity (even though most of the money raised seemed to go on the staff costs and rent for the shops ) the feeling that you are doing something good :)

and lets face it with all my sins i need to balance it all out other wise karma will come along cracking their wipe.

Its been a bit of a boring week for me this week I've been in almost every night and overused social network to the limit .

My friend read me some poetry last night that he had written when he was at uni and it has to be said that he has a raw talent they were brilliant i could have listened to them all night :) if i had half of his talent then i would be making big bucks selling my poetry so that it could be shared with the world.

links

this is fab !!


joannewebdesign

Here are too of my less well known sites  just thought i would link to them whilst i had the chance!

Too Many Questions that Cannot Be Awnsered

overused social network today , too many posts ,to many messages sent to people who don't want to hear from me :(
 I realised yesterday evening that i enjoy trying to help people with their problems as it stops me thinking about my own , and the reason i like to go out so much is because i don t like to be left at home with my own thoughts.
I wonder if that is why some people become Counsellors ? do they do it because they don't like to focus on their own problems is that classed as escapism ? slightly worrying then if this is true,all these depressed people placing their trust in someone who could have equal or more problems then themselves ?

just a thought I'm probably completely wrong . .......................
Is it wrong to miss a friend that don't want to be your friend ?...... I'm guessing its not wrong but stupid on my part I feel like i have lost the one person i could talk to about anything at all which is silly really because i have only known them a few months .


well I'm gonna stop dwelling their really is no point its not like their my ex boyfriend or anything just a mate that's all and that's all in my eyes they ever will be, my eyes were closed before my mind was lost somewhere else and now i have woken up its too late the damage is done and they hate me their sivel in public because we have a few mutral friends but they hate me and its all my fault and theirs no second chances .



.

Too Many questions

My First Post!

Well Hello and welcome to my blog :)

Today i have been at work  ! Exciting not :(

I work in a quite office with not much going on . I enjoy going out a lot maybe too much so after much criticism i have decided to spend Monday to Thursday night in just to prove that i can ! somehow i feel like i am the loser in this bet as no matter what the turn out as I'm the one who's bored. !

over the last few months i have come to realise that people i thought new and liked me actually don't its been a very sad time but i have realised that in many cases people are only nice to you if they want something or if they want someone to listen to them , as soon as i had a problem they were to busy.


One of my mates he keeps track of his mates and how good they are by listing them I'm currently 13th on the list i really wouldn't mind but his only got 12 mates .

I'm currently desperate to lose weight i was so proud of myself the other week 6 pounds i lost so off i went down the pub telling everyone about my achievement grinning from ear to ear Monday morning gets on the scales I'm 2 pound heaver then before i started dieting knew i shouldn't have excepted all that chocolate :)

I have a really bad habit of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time the other day someone in the local
said "blue bells "
so i pipe up saying
"their fucking weeds love"
"were her favorite flowers "
at that point i decided to play pool .

 

Face book don't you just love it you log in see that little red circle with a 1 in it "oooohh is it one of my friends " I wait for the page to load after several something went wrong messages their it is

Apu Apoola " hi honey how are you? you look nice please except my friendship"

Delete ........

oh well lets have a look on my wall  , same old ,same old  oh look shes had a baby ... again .

 Vodka  my signature drink i love it after eight glasses i know i wont remember anything in the morning you could pour your heart out to me tell me your deepest secrets and i wont have a clue what you said in the morning .

if you tell me when I'm sober on the other hand ................. (they don't call me zippy for nothing ) unless you tell me not to say anything  i do come out with stuff so all my friends usually start the sentence off with don't say anything  and a clenched fist sign !