toys of the 90s !

nirvana poem

I want to say sorry All Apologies 

I never set out to be a heartbreaker

Its wasnt because of your old age

I know that your still full of beans

I never ment to put you on a downer 

or compleatly drain you 

mabye im just dumb 

i know and you know your right 

If You Must know their wasnt the love buzz

so now please dont milk it and be a negitive creep

oh the guilt i already feel

I hate myself and want to die 

so now im going to stay away 

you shall never see my heart shaped box 

or get the chance to legally rape  me 

why not date that girl

Here she comes now 

Turnround 

her name is polly 

you could take her for some mexican seafood and have a cup of pennyroyal tea

then you can write songs about a girl whilst kissing mollys lips .

outburst

:s Had a little outburst at work today , i just snapped and started crying after a comment from one of my collages it wasn't even his fault whoops

Happy Friday

Dressed up and ready to go
will you be their ?
I dont know

glancing over at the door
whilst playing with my phone

will you be dancing on the floor
or will you stay at home

Effort made just for you
on the off chance that  your turn up

THE WAITING GAME

FOUR  LONG YEARS YOU'VE BEEN IN PAIN

WAITING HOPING ALL IN VAIN

LIKE A COBRA WAITING TO STRIKE

WAITING FOR THE ONE YOU LIKE

THE HURT YOU FEEL IS TURNING TO HATE

WILL THIS BE YOUR ONLY FATE

HERE YOU ARE GOING OUT OF YOUR WAY

HOPING THAT YOUR LOVE WILL STAY

OFF WITH EVERY BOY IN TOWN

THIS GIRL HAS JUST LET YOU DOWN

YOU COMFORTED THEM WHEN THEY WAS DOWN

WALKED ALL THE WAY TO A FAR AWAY TOWN

YOU WERE THE SUPPORT THE CRYING SHOULDER

BUT NOW YOU ARE A LITTLE OLDER

WISER TO THIS FRIENDSHIP GAME

YOU WANT MORE ITS NOT THE SAME

SO YOU HAD TO CHANGE YOUR WAY OF LIVING

TURN AWAY AND STOP THE GIVING

IT WASN'T BECAUSE YOU WERE BEING CRUEL

YOU HAD TO RUN YOUR ONLY RULE

GIVING WAS YOUR ONLY CRIME

DON'T YOU WORRY YOUR BE FINE.

poem

You Made me laugh

you made me cry

you made me want to bitch and sigh

Im happy when i see your face

but then you go without a trace

you blank me when i walk on bye

this really hurts, not gonna lie

you need space

i will agree

i know you not the one for me

this funky dress

this pierced face

its never gonna be your taste

ive made myself mad over you

the one who doesnt care

but sometimes when i dance at night im sure i see you stare

a fantasy thats in my mind

now ive left that all behind

a brand new girl

thats who i am

knock me back

i dont give  a dam

friendship  is now all i want

not love or lust or hate

i just want to hang around

that doesnt mean a date

so if you are at a lose end

finding that you need a friend

you have my number

drop me a line

i will always have the time.

Todays Rambelings

So I'm feeling a little better then i did yesterday i broke my alcohol fast by having 3 quarters of a bottle of red wine last night (i don't even like red wine ros'es as far as i go )I'm starting to think that sober Friday is probably not gonna be a good idea due to the fact none of my friends are even going out on Friday which means I'm gonna have to be confident and make conversation with people i don't really know alcohol will be needed for that !.

Had my First snog with new lip per icing yesterday i really wanted to know what it was like to kiss with it like if it would get in the way etc and he wanted to know what it was like to kiss someone with a piercing so i thought why not lol, Result bit weird at first but OK :) so piercing is gonna stay for a while :)


Have been thinking about what I'm gonna do over Christmas i know that i am going to be bored sitting their at home so i am thinking about volunteering at a homeless shelter at least i will feel like i am giving something back that's one of the things i miss about working for a charity (even though most of the money raised seemed to go on the staff costs and rent for the shops ) the feeling that you are doing something good :)

and lets face it with all my sins i need to balance it all out other wise karma will come along cracking their wipe.

Its been a bit of a boring week for me this week I've been in almost every night and overused social network to the limit .

My friend read me some poetry last night that he had written when he was at uni and it has to be said that he has a raw talent they were brilliant i could have listened to them all night :) if i had half of his talent then i would be making big bucks selling my poetry so that it could be shared with the world.

links

this is fab !!


joannewebdesign

Here are too of my less well known sites  just thought i would link to them whilst i had the chance!

Too Many Questions that Cannot Be Awnsered

overused social network today , too many posts ,to many messages sent to people who don't want to hear from me :(
 I realised yesterday evening that i enjoy trying to help people with their problems as it stops me thinking about my own , and the reason i like to go out so much is because i don t like to be left at home with my own thoughts.
I wonder if that is why some people become Counsellors ? do they do it because they don't like to focus on their own problems is that classed as escapism ? slightly worrying then if this is true,all these depressed people placing their trust in someone who could have equal or more problems then themselves ?

just a thought I'm probably completely wrong . .......................
Is it wrong to miss a friend that don't want to be your friend ?...... I'm guessing its not wrong but stupid on my part I feel like i have lost the one person i could talk to about anything at all which is silly really because i have only known them a few months .


well I'm gonna stop dwelling their really is no point its not like their my ex boyfriend or anything just a mate that's all and that's all in my eyes they ever will be, my eyes were closed before my mind was lost somewhere else and now i have woken up its too late the damage is done and they hate me their sivel in public because we have a few mutral friends but they hate me and its all my fault and theirs no second chances .



.

Too Many questions

My First Post!

Well Hello and welcome to my blog :)

Today i have been at work  ! Exciting not :(

I work in a quite office with not much going on . I enjoy going out a lot maybe too much so after much criticism i have decided to spend Monday to Thursday night in just to prove that i can ! somehow i feel like i am the loser in this bet as no matter what the turn out as I'm the one who's bored. !

over the last few months i have come to realise that people i thought new and liked me actually don't its been a very sad time but i have realised that in many cases people are only nice to you if they want something or if they want someone to listen to them , as soon as i had a problem they were to busy.


One of my mates he keeps track of his mates and how good they are by listing them I'm currently 13th on the list i really wouldn't mind but his only got 12 mates .

I'm currently desperate to lose weight i was so proud of myself the other week 6 pounds i lost so off i went down the pub telling everyone about my achievement grinning from ear to ear Monday morning gets on the scales I'm 2 pound heaver then before i started dieting knew i shouldn't have excepted all that chocolate :)

I have a really bad habit of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time the other day someone in the local
said "blue bells "
so i pipe up saying
"their fucking weeds love"
"were her favorite flowers "
at that point i decided to play pool .

 

Face book don't you just love it you log in see that little red circle with a 1 in it "oooohh is it one of my friends " I wait for the page to load after several something went wrong messages their it is

Apu Apoola " hi honey how are you? you look nice please except my friendship"

Delete ........

oh well lets have a look on my wall  , same old ,same old  oh look shes had a baby ... again .

 Vodka  my signature drink i love it after eight glasses i know i wont remember anything in the morning you could pour your heart out to me tell me your deepest secrets and i wont have a clue what you said in the morning .

if you tell me when I'm sober on the other hand ................. (they don't call me zippy for nothing ) unless you tell me not to say anything  i do come out with stuff so all my friends usually start the sentence off with don't say anything  and a clenched fist sign !